ok ok i’ve given this more thought. once exam leave is over and we go back into the normal swing of things, i’m not going to go crazy and mental and irrational again as planned…i think it’s just time for a lifestyle change and instead of harboring this thing in my head with silly extreme plans, i’m going to channel it in such a way that i can live with it but i’ll be healthy in doing so. yeah. i may not see the results as immediately as i’d like which will be frustrating to deal with but in the long run it’ll be so so much better for not just my body but my mind as well. so tired of all this and i just want to start afresh.